Episode 16: Can a guy and girl be just friends?

He says:

"No man can be friends with a woman whom he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her," said a wise man called Harry Burns when he met Sally Albright.

"Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can," Harry explained.

It's been 17 years since he said that and yet women don't seem to have really got the hang of what he means. They actually believe that the guy who calls every single day and goes out of his way to help her is "so sweet" and (wants to be) just friends.

Oh! Please! Men surely have better things to do than play guardian angel. Like it's their new full-time job or mission statement for life.

Now, let's consider for a minute the profile of these guys who do that.

a. He is single. Obviously, otherwise, he would be running around to get his own girl to like him.

b. He is not her type. Because, if he was, she would have seen through his desperate attempts to woo her.

c. He has friends who believe, or in some cases, KNOW that he likes her more than a friend.

d. He does not have another girl that he finds attractive as a friend. Because if he did, he would be doing that for her too.

e. He is the initiator... the guy who takes the effort to make conversation, at least most of the time.

Is that some sort of a co-incidence now that they somehow meet all those traits?

Fat chance. The truth is women like the attention they get, they don't want to say `No' to it or confront him because they don't want to lose the benefits. Besides, till the guy has said it, you can always just be "friends".

It is high time these do-gooder gentlemen woke up to see that if she hasn't seen his love in all that he has done for her, she's probably blind. Or plain dumb.

She says:

And men, of course, are assuming that women are really taken in by the `let's be friends' gag?

`Friendship,' my poor misguided young male puppets, is sometimes just a convenient way for women to make cow-eyes at you over canteen Cokes, or three course dinners. You might think you have the upper hand, but you're just being checked out to see if you are date worthy.

Because when a women is `just friends' with a guy, she gets a sneak peek at how he really thinks, behaves and relates to other people. (Pssst. A word of advice. Act snotty with the waiter and you're out in the cold.)

More important, being able to say, "we're just good friends, ya" lets you off the hook, when nosy friends start prodding you for details, and your mother begins to plan a June wedding in her head.

In fact, Indian ingenuity has come up with an even better way of concealing a relationship that's too young and unsteady to announce. The "He's like my brother," and `She's like my sister' story makes it so easy for all those totally unrelated siblings to watch sunsets hand-in-hand with nobody getting suspicious and tracing family trees. But, please remember, it doesn't work this way with everybody. Of course, men and women can be friends. Otherwise, imagine what a warped world this would be.

Men need their women friends. For one, men have terrible taste when it comes to picking out clothes or solitaires for their girlfriends, and can always do with some female guidance. Besides, female company keeps men civilised. Look at what happened in William Golding's "Lord Of the Flies", where a bunch of boys abandoned on an island began to eat each other!

And yes, women need their male friends too. They give us a man's perspective on life, making it easier to understand boyfriends. They are generally completely chilled out, which makes them easy to hang out with. And they're useful at times when you need someone to carry your shopping, help you move furniture into a new house, or get rid of an over zealous admirer.

Boyfriends are nice to have around, but guy friends are essential.