Saturday, February 25, 2006

Episode 14: Diamonds, girl's best friends?

He says:

Which girl will actually go on record and agree `Diamonds are a girl's best friend'? It's another thing that she will feel on top of the world when you get her that stone. And proverbs do not happen for no reason unless there's some universal truth attributed to it over the ages. Whether they agree or not, women do have sophisticated, exquisite (read expensive), classy taste. Some are good at concealing it, some aren't as smart.

But seriously, there is nothing wrong about it really. It's completely ok to admit you have classy, sophisticated, exquisite taste. After all, if they did not have a refined sensibility, why would they go out with men in the first place? A man, on the other hand, does not really need a diamond for a best friend. He will be equally happy if you buy him a beer or better still, if you just give it to him in any other kind. The kinder the better, actually (wink wink). Yes, it is much easier for a woman to please a man than it is for a man to please a woman. Men are happy with the simplest of things.

Whether it is a thoughtful SMS in the middle of the night or even when they are pulled up for coming late or returning her call late. They feel good to be wanted. To be loved. The smallest of gestures are enough to make him happy. The question, however, still remains as to why do men move heaven and earth to please the woman? Because, men remember that wonderful credit card campaign: One five-star dinner: 1,000 bucks. A diamond: 10,000 bucks. The smile on her face when you give that to her: Priceless.

She says:

That's a totally untrue — not to mention appalling — statement to make. Diamonds are certainly not a girl's best friend.

There's also platinum. And antique gold jewellery studded with rubies and emeralds. Oh, and we mustn't leave out designer crystal necklaces. Or... gasp... shoes. Stylish sneakers for the day. Strappy red stilettos for the night. Handbags for lunching. Evening bags for clubbing. That 12th pair of must-have pink Capris...

To reduce it to diamonds just seems so insincere.

Yeah. Yeah. I know that at this point I'm supposed to sigh endearingly and say the material world just doesn't matter. And a woman is only interested in the heart that beats under that Tommy Hilfiger shirt, not the wallet that accompanies it. Gag.

But honestly, a man who believes that probably reads Mills and Boon romances in his spare time, even as he waits patiently for a `demure rose' to flutter her eyelashes at him across a cappuccino bar someday.

The thing is every Rose, Renee and Reenaa sipping a low-fat caramel macchiato in a coffee shop is waiting too. But they're looking for the `complete man' and any old thing with a warm heart and last season's trousers just won't cut it.

That's what happens when you have sophisticated, exquisite (read expensive), classy taste. (By the way, the Bluebeards among us needn't start popping open their Moet Chandon just yet. A nice guy with a skinny bank account is still far more attractive than a shallow, mean or nasty man with a yacht.)

Sure, women are materialistic. And most men, I must admit, aren't. Give a guy a two-paragraph limerick for his birthday and he'll be thrilled to bits. Try passing that off on a woman and you won't remember what happened after her Prada handbag crashed through the roof of your skull.

The good news? Today's girls aren't really waiting for you to wrestle open your wallet and start buying solitaires. They buy their own diamonds. And platinum. And cars. (Mostly because they don't trust your taste).

You just need to stand around looking stylish and reasonably rich. Now that's not too much to ask, is it?

(A fortnightly column on the battle of the sexes.)

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