Episode 15: Who's more commitment-phobic?

He says:

Who's scared of commitment?

Women. At least, initially.

And, only after women get over that phobia do men catch it.

Because, being all heart, men like to dive head over heels into romance. They love the courting period. The honeymoon phase when she dresses up for him gives him his space and does not ask too many questions. In fact, she doesn't want to label it anything.

It can't get any rosier than this with an unlimited supply of love, no strings attached.

You ditch your buddies to spend time with the girl and suddenly, you're not one of the losers at the bar. The girl's friends want to get to know you too and before you know it, you're a stud. You like it when she actually blushes when her friends talk about you to her. You are always at your best because you're trying to make her fall in love with you everyday. It's easily the best phase of romance because it is unconditional love.

Fast forward: A few months later.

She stops dressing up, wants to know where you are every time she calls and why you didn't take her call in the middle of the night, while you were sleeping. She thinks getting a gift from you is too routine and soon enough, you realise the futility of pampering her. You are taken for granted.

Her life completely starts revolving around yours. She loses touch with her friends because they are busy trying to keep their respective boyfriends on a leash. So much so that now you have to ditch her if you want to spend an evening with friends and if you don't, you become a hen-pecked loser.

A serious relationship mostly spells the death of freedom for men. Maybe that's why they turn commitment-phobic.

For the same reasons no one wants to go to prison.

She says:

The thing is men are a little like cell phones.

As soon as you settle for the best looking model in the market, a nicer one comes along. It even has many more features than your old model. And before you know it, you're thinking of trading it/him in. Especially when the old one starts to malfunction (i.e. It stops bringing you flowers and starts walking around in sloppy old T-shirts).

No wonder commitment is so difficult. For women.

Which makes you wonder why every other man you know seems to be whining about how his girlfriend is getting obsessive.

Take a case study. An average man will walk around for weeks with a face as long as a horse, begging for an introduction to some girl he's probably just heard about.

Once he meets her, he goes overboard, gushing about how wonderful she is, sending her flowers, ringing her up twenty times a day, introducing her to all his friends and insisting on meeting all her pals.

If she stays cold and aloof, that's wonderful. He'll climb every mountain, search every stream, and follow every rainbow till she gives in. But, if she's stupid enough to admit she likes him, puts his number on speed dial and starts treating him like a boyfriend, that's the end of the relationship. (Ever wondered why `playing hard to get' is every woman's favourite game?)

But just as things start working out, he's walking around with that hangdog expression again, complaining about being "tied down" and calling himself a hen pecked loser.

A guy like that's a loser all right, but it has nothing to do with the `hen'.

And it's exactly at that point his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend starts her market research again.

Something every woman is forced to keep doing till she finds The One. And, the thing is, he may not really be the richest, or the smartest, or the funniest man she's ever met.

But if he's grown up enough to realise that freedom is just a state of mind, and that he's found a relationship he's happy enough to stay in, that makes him an irreplaceable model. One that never gets outdated.

And that's something even Nokia can't top.